


I Will Be Here

by TrueIllusion



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious David Rose, Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Caretaking, David Rose Deserves Nice Things, Depression, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gap Filler, Hurt/Comfort, In Which The Author Turns Her Favorite Canon Lines Into Callbacks, M/M, Past Drug Use, Patrick Brewer loves David Rose, Season/Series 04, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueIllusion/pseuds/TrueIllusion
Summary: It crept up on him, just like it always had -- somehow shifting from being so on-edge that he could barely sleep, to a state where sleeping was all he wanted to do anymore. He was never quite sure where the transition occurred, or how it was possible to move between two seemingly opposite sets of feelings with such… ease. Not that it was easy; it wasn’t at all. But it was familiar, at least, and David found that oddly comforting.***David has his first depressive episode after meeting Patrick. Patrick helps him through it.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer & Alexis Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 30
Kudos: 225





	I Will Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a prompt for a fest that seems to have disappeared, so I'm posting the story anyhow! ;) Prompter, if you see this, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> This is set post-Open Mic, pre-Barbecue.

It crept up on him, just like it always had -- somehow shifting from being so on-edge that he could barely sleep, to a state where sleeping was all he wanted to do anymore. He was never quite sure where the transition occurred, or how it was possible to move between two seemingly opposite sets of feelings with such… ease. Not that it was easy; it wasn’t at all. But it was familiar, at least, and David found that oddly comforting.

After all, what sort of broken person must he be to take the feeling of having everything actually go _right_ for once, and end up turning it into a weight so heavy that it made everything feel insurmountable… like he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Like it was only a matter of time until Patrick got tired of him, and then he’d be alone… again. This time with a business that he probably -- no, _definitely_ \-- didn’t know how to run on his own, that would end up going under, and he’d be right back where he started before he got the job at The Blouse Barn… broke, with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

He’d been here before, many times, in his old life. He used to have pills for this. Pills to make it even easier to sleep the entire day away. Pills to make him feel even more numb than he already felt. Pills to help him escape the barrage of disastrous thoughts parading through his head, one after the other, that eventually led to him feeling completely worthless as a human being.

But now, there were no pills. It was just David, alone with his thoughts -- the thoughts that were, quite honestly, destroying him from the inside out. He knew that, and even so, he was still powerless to stop it.

He had Patrick this time, yes, but that was… kind of the problem.

Things with Patrick were great. Things at the store were great. Overall, David’s life was going better than it ever had before. So why then, were all of his past failures suddenly playing on an endless loop inside his head? Why was he so… _fixated_ on every potential way that things could go wrong? Why couldn’t he manage to let it go, even when he knew he _should_? Why was it so much easier to just… lean in? To turn off his alarm, pull the covers back over his head, and send Patrick a text to say he still wasn’t feeling well, thus beginning a whole new spiral over how many more days he could do that before Patrick decided he was an undependable business partner _and_ boyfriend, and broke up with him.

Yes. Yep. That was exactly what was about to happen. And yet somehow, David couldn’t bring himself to care. After all, it was inevitable, right? He’d managed to blow up every single relationship he’d been in -- personal or business -- thus far, so why would this one be any different?

“ _Day_ -vid.”

Alexis’ voice, shrill and annoying as always, broke through David’s consciousness, interrupting his downward spiral.

“Are you _seriously_ going to spend another _entire_ day holed up in this room, in the dark, pretending to be _sick_?”

“Who says I’m pretending?”

“Weren’t you supposed to, like, _work_ , today?”

“Patrick’s got it covered. I texted him this morning. And it’s none of your business anyhow.”

“David, you can’t just--”

“Fuck off, Alexis!” David growled, flinging the covers down just long enough to glare at his sister before retreating back into his cocoon of blankets. “I said it’s none of your business.”

“You should at least, like, be _honest_ with him,” Alexis said, her tone so matter-of-fact that David could picture the know-it-all look he was sure she had on her face without even seeing her. “He cares about you. He sang you a _song_ , David.”

David groaned, not bothering to come out from under the covers this time. “Seriously, Alexis, go play in traffic.”

Alexis let out an indignant huff as she opened the door, letting in a rush of not-so-fresh air from outside. “You can’t just stay in here forever, David,” she said, of course having to take one last parting shot before she slammed the door, making him jump.

She wasn’t wrong; he knew that. But that didn’t make it any easier to stomach the thought of letting Patrick see exactly what sort of human disaster he’d chosen to get involved with. For right now, though, he had another day. The rest, he’d figure out later.

***

Patrick idly traced a finger over the top of the cardboard sleeve on his cup of tea from the cafe, still staring at the same line on his spreadsheet that he’d been looking at fifteen minutes before. He wasn’t even sure why he still had it open; he’d known he wouldn’t be able to focus on it, and he’d been right. He was too worried about David to focus on much of anything.

This was the second day in a row that he’d received a text from David right around the time when he normally would have breezed through the door, fashionably late as always. And for the second day in a row, the content had been essentially the same: _Not feeling well. Can u cover the store today?_

Of course, Patrick had said yes -- it was no problem at all, even if it did mean his workday would be spent alone. But to be honest, he was starting to get concerned.

He knew it was dumb; after all, it had only been two days, and a simple head cold could easily last longer than that. But something felt… off. Patrick had sent a couple of followup messages to check and see if David needed anything, but he’d never received a reply. He wanted to do something to take care of David, but he also didn’t want to overstep if they weren’t quite at _that_ point in their relationship yet. So instead, he was stuck overanalyzing -- trying to read between the lines of David’s text message, even though he knew he was probably making a big deal out of nothing.

Thankfully, he only had a couple more hours left until closing time, at which point he could go home, where he’d at least have Ray to distract him. Patrick let out a heavy sigh as he pressed the save button and closed his laptop. Maybe it would be better if he did something physical, like dusting the shelves. He didn’t dare rearrange any displays without David’s explicit approval, but cleaning was something he could _definitely_ do.

Sliding his laptop back into his bag, Patrick pushed himself up to stand, then bent down to look for the feather duster. He’d finally located it on a shelf, behind David’s secret stash of chocolate, when the bell above the door jingled, causing him to smack his head on the counter.

“Oof,” Patrick said softly, bringing a hand up to rub at the newly tender spot on the back of his head as he stood to greet his customer, hoping maybe they hadn’t noticed the loud thunk. He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or even more embarrassed when he realized it was Alexis.

The knowing, slightly amused look on her face told Patrick she’d _definitely_ noticed, and he could feel the heat of a blush moving up toward his cheeks -- an automatic reaction he’d had ever since he was a kid and did something even the slightest bit cringe-worthy.

“Uh, hi Alexis,” Patrick sputtered, trying his best to recover. “What brings you in today? More lip balm?”

He wanted to ask about David, but the part of his brain that had spent most of the day worrying was also making him doubt whether or not he _should_ \-- whether or not it would be weird to ask his boyfriend’s sister about how said boyfriend was doing. Plus, Patrick didn’t really know Alexis _that_ well, so--

“Oh, no,” Alexis said, the sound of her voice pulling Patrick back out of his thoughts. “I actually, um…” She paused, turning her attention to the facial cleansers on the table to her left, studying them for a few seconds before looking back up at Patrick. “I wanted to ask you for a… favor.”

Figuring Alexis probably needed help with something in one of her marketing classes again, Patrick nodded, grateful for the distraction. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Well, it’s not so much a favor for _me_ , but really one for David.”

“Okay,” Patrick said slowly, his brow furrowing as the pit in his stomach started to grow larger. “Is he alright? Does he need something?”

“So, he’s always had this… thing… that he gets. He, um… he worries… like, a lot. Even when you tell him he doesn’t _need_ to worry, it’s like he can’t _function_ unless he’s got something to worry about.” Alexis’ hands fluttered in front of her as she spoke, her handbag swinging from the crook of one elbow. “Anyway, sometimes that sort of becomes… something more. And then he, like, stays in bed for days because he just, like, can’t deal.”

Dozens of questions were already swirling in Patrick’s brain, and it was all he could do to wait patiently for Alexis to continue without spitting a barrage of them at her. He remembered David mentioning a days-long panic attack that had occured not long after the Roses moved to Schitt’s Creek, so was that what was going on right now? Was David quite literally worrying himself sick? If so, over what? Things were fine between them… weren’t they?

“So, um… I wanted to see if you’d be willing… you know, if you happen to be, like, in the vicinity of the motel, a little later, if you could, like… stop by. I think that might… help.”

“Uh, sure,” Patrick said, still not quite sure what to make of what Alexis was telling him, but considering the fact that everything in Schitt’s Creek was ‘in the vicinity’ of everything else, and that this was David they were talking about, it was pretty much a no brainer that he would be stopping by. “Is he… Is he okay? Did he ask for me?”

“Well, not _exactly_ , but… Things are just… different… with you. I think he’s maybe… having a hard time with that. You know, that you like, _actually_ care.”

Of course he cared. Was David doubting that he _cared_?

“Anyhow, I, um… I thought I’d just… leave you with this.” Alexis pulled a key out of her purse, sliding it across the counter toward Patrick while attempting a wink that very much didn’t work, not that Patrick had much room to talk. As she pulled back, she plucked a lip balm from the display and dropped it into her handbag. “Tradesies,” she said, flashing him a smile -- the one that had probably gotten her everything she wanted for all of her life -- before she turned and walked out the door.

Patrick blinked as the door clicked shut behind Alexis, who was already strutting toward the cafe as if _she_ was the one who owned the town, not her brother. His fingers closed around the key she’d left on the counter as his brain started to whir with possibilities. If she was leaving him with her key, she must have thought David probably wouldn’t answer the door, so just how bad-off was he? What sort of state was Patrick going to find him in? Would he be angry that Alexis had sent Patrick over there?

In a way, Patrick felt… stuck. If he didn’t go, he risked David actually thinking that he didn’t care -- which couldn’t be further from the truth -- but if he _did_ go, then he risked David being upset with him for invading his privacy. That, however, seemed a small price to pay for David knowing exactly how much Patrick cared about him. And the more Patrick thought about David lying in bed, torturing himself with thoughts that simply weren’t true, the sooner Patrick wanted to get to him, to show him how wrong he was.

Patrick glanced down at the clock in the corner of the point-of-sale screen -- _5:15 pm_. Maybe he should just close early; after all, it had been a slow day, and Wednesdays were never very busy anyhow. Usually, it was a day spent fooling around with David in the back room, in between phone calls with vendors and rearranging displays to keep things looking “fresh.” But today, it had been lonely -- and if it had been that way for him, he could only begin to imagine how David felt.

He took a deep breath and nodded to himself as he slipped Alexis’ key into his pocket, already having made up his mind that David needed him far more than anyone could possibly need foot cream or facial cleanser on a Wednesday night.

Patrick rushed through the closing routine, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of David -- wondering if he was okay, or if this really might be something serious. More than anything, he just wanted to lay eyes on him and _know_ he was okay. To take care of him, if that was what he needed. To give him the reassurance of knowing that he was… loved. Even if Patrick wasn’t quite ready to put that feeling into words just yet.

The drive from the store to the motel only took a couple of minutes, but even that felt too long when Patrick’s brain couldn’t stop wondering what he was about to walk into. He was trying not to entertain worst-case scenarios, but what little bit he did know about David’s past didn’t make that easy.

As he pulled into the open parking space in front of the room David and Alexis shared, Patrick took a deep breath, then let it out as slowly as he could before getting out of the car, his fingers finding their way to Alexis’ key in his pocket. He could do this. He had to. He _wanted_ to. Because David… David made him feel right.

With shaking hands, Patrick stuck the key in the lock and turned it, pushing the door open to reveal a mostly dark room illuminated only by the small lamp on Alexis’ desk, and David curled up under his designer duvet.

***

“I thought I told you to fuck off, Alexis,” David muttered, pressing his face into the pillow as he pulled the duvet tighter over his head. He’d had more than enough of his sister’s unsolicited advice, especially when all he really wanted was to be left alone to wallow in peace.

“I’m not Alexis.”

The sound of Patrick’s voice was enough to take David’s breath -- to make the all-too-familiar sensation of panic start to rise in his gut. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for Patrick. He wasn’t ready to deal with these feelings... not now, maybe not ever.

The soft squeak of the hinges followed by the click of the knob told him Patrick had closed the door, and David hoped against hope that it meant Patrick had left, just like everyone else that had come before him -- leaving him alone, to be broken. Damaged goods. Unfixable.

But the next thing David felt was the lower part of the mattress sinking down a bit, followed by the comforting weight of a hand -- Patrick’s hand -- on his ankle.

“How can I help?”

Patrick’s voice was soft and earnest, making tears spring to David’s eyes. He wasn’t used to this. This wasn’t how people treated David Rose.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk,” Patrick continued, the warm, understanding timbre still present. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you… for whatever you need. And if it’s okay with you, I think I’d like to…” He paused and inhaled a shaky breath. “I’d like to sit with you for a while. If that’s okay.”

David stifled a sob, not quite sure what to do with any of this. His breath was coming in hitches as gasps now as he fought the urge to cry… to break down at the very idea of someone other than Adelina actually caring enough to just _sit_ with him. To just _be_ there.

Patrick’s thumb brushed back and forth over David’s ankle, the idle motion suddenly stilling as David inhaled a particularly sharp breath, followed by a shuddering exhale that sounded much closer to a sob than he would have liked.

The mattress shifted a bit as the warm weight of Patrick’s hand on his leg went away, soon to be replaced by the sensation of Patrick’s chest against David’s back as the smaller man curled up behind him.

“Can I hold you?” Patrick whispered, sounding just as unsure as David felt.

David gave a small nod as the dam finally broke, unleashing a cascade of hot tears that David most definitely did not want to be crying in front of Patrick. But Patrick seemed unfazed, simply wrapping an arm around him, his thumb now idly stroking David’s shoulder.

He was used to people shushing him. Telling him not to cry. Not to worry. Not to be so sensitive. But he wasn’t used to this… this quiet acceptance. This level of care, without expectation or presumption. But that was exactly what Patrick was providing. Silent support. Reassurance.

And it felt… good. Which, for some reason, made him cry even harder.

But Patrick never faltered -- the comforting weight of his arm around David’s body providing as much solace as the feeling of his chest rising and falling against David’s back, his breath ghosting across David’s skin where his neck and shoulder met. And when the tears finally abated, David’s own breath slowly returning to normal, Patrick was still right there -- as strong and steady as ever.

“You don’t have to stay,” David whispered, some small part of him still wanting to give Patrick an out -- an excuse to let him go… to leave him just like all the others had.

“What?” Patrick sounded incredulous -- almost surprised -- as he sat up, the sudden change in position causing David to roll onto his back. “David, I _want_ to stay.”

The look in Patrick’s eyes was so warm -- so _sincere_ \-- that it was all David could do to push down the lump in his throat as he gazed up at him, blinking back tears once again. “I just… I know I’m kind of a mess of a person, and you… You didn’t sign up for this. I’m not… You don’t know what you’re getting into. This kind of thing, it… It happens a lot, and I…”

Patrick pressed a gentle finger to David’s lips before letting it trail down his chin in a way that would normally be sexy, were David not all snotty and gross and tear-stained.

“David, I signed up for _you_. All of you,” he said softly, his honey-brown eyes glistening in the dim light. “And if it happens again…”

“It will,” David breathed, his voice barely audible.

“Then I will be here, and we’ll get through it together.” Patrick brushed his thumb over David’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “I’m not going anywhere, David. I promise.”

David nodded and let his eyes drift closed as Patrick settled back in beside him and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He was trying to believe it. He _wanted_ to believe it -- to lose himself in the sensation of Patrick’s strong arms around his shoulders, making him feel safe, maybe even… loved. But _that_ was definitely a thought he wasn’t quite ready for yet.

So he took a deep breath, trying his best to match Patrick’s calm, even inhalation. Then on the exhale, he let himself let go -- of the fears… of the expectations… of the past -- as he allowed himself to melt into the unwavering security of Patrick’s embrace.

When he blinked his eyes open again, the tiny amount of sunlight that had been coming in around the curtains all afternoon and evening was gone, but Patrick was still there -- still holding him close, his chest rising and falling against David’s arm as he breathed. And David had just had his best sleep in days, safe and sound in his boyfriend’s arms.

“Hey,” Patrick said softly, the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Hey,” David echoed, his own voice gravelly from both disuse and leftover tears. “You stayed. You didn’t have to stay.”

“I know I didn’t. I wanted to.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not that long. But it wouldn’t have mattered if it was all night. I still would have stayed. I told you, I’m not going anywhere. And I know I don’t know a whole lot about your past, but I… I just hope you can believe that.”

David pulled his lower lip into his mouth, his eyes meeting Patrick’s, so full of affection and understanding and… yes, maybe that was love. Maybe it wasn’t so scary after all.

“How about we go take a walk?” Patrick asked, brushing a hand over David’s bicep. “We can stop by the cafe… see if Twyla has any more of those mozzarella sticks.”

David nodded as his stomach let out a low growl -- unsurprising given how little appetite he’d had for the past few days -- causing Patrick to chuckle as he slid out of bed, reaching out a hand to help David up. He waited patiently as David put his shoes on and splashed a little cold water on his face to wash away the tears, wishing it was that easy to just wash away the pain along with it. That was a much longer and harder process, though. He knew that all too well.

But for now, maybe he could let go of the past. Let go of the voices in his head screaming at him that he was making a mistake -- that he shouldn’t let his guard down. Maybe he could settle in. Get comfortable. And maybe -- just maybe -- this time would be different.

Maybe he could let himself believe that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you blackandwhiteandrose, as always, for the votes of confidence and for helping me make the story better, and to PrettyTheWorld for helping me talk out the plot and purpose, and figure out where it should "fit" within the canon.
> 
> Take care of yourselves, everyone... We are all going through a lot right now.


End file.
